We tend to engage in activities and habits that align with our âstories.â We also tend to interpret our circumstances in terms of our âstories.â This is all fine … unless our stories are not quite right. If our stories are not right, then neither are our activities, our habits or our perspectives. And that is not fine.
So if we want to change our habits (create new ones or eliminate those that no longer serve us), we have to question the stories we tell ourselves.
What do I mean by stories?
We all have stories. We have stories that explain why we are where we are, why we are who we are, and why we have or have not done certain things in our lives. Our stories give us context and relevancy. Our stories make us human. (Dear Oak Tree: Iâm sure you have a story, but you have no lips, so ⊠yeah.)
In a nutshell: Your story is your explanation for why you act and think in a particular way.
How does our ‘story’ apply to changing our habits â particularly a studentâs school habits?
Students have stories too, and these stories are directly related to their school experiences and learning habits â both good and bad.
Take Mark, for example. Mark has always considered himself a disorganized person. Thatâs his story. So when he regularly loses or forgets his assignments, he simply blames his story. Iâm just disorganized, and thatâs the way I have always been. Thatâs just me.
But hold up. Is that story true? Mark, are you 100% certain that youâre genetically and clinically âdisorganizedâ? No. Not likely provable.
But itâs easier for Mark to blame his poor organizational habits (or lack of organizational skills) on his genetic makeup than on himself.
Rewrite your story, Mark!
Tell yourself that you CAN be organized. Tell yourself that you CAN learn these skills. Heck, yell âPlot twist!â and convince yourself that you are a SUPER organized person. And then follow through by changing your habits.
As the clichĂ© goes, if you think you can you can. If you think you canât youâre right.
For another example, letâs look at Jessie. Jessie struggles significantly in math, and always has. Lately, sheâs been falling more behind than ever. Iâm just not good at math. Math just isnât my subject. Iâll never be good at math. These justifications are all part of Jessieâs story.
Jessie, are you 100% certain that youâre âbadâ at math? Are you completely sure that your brain is allergic to numbers? No. Not likely provable.
I get it: Maybe math isnât Jessieâs favorite subject. It certainly wasnât mine either. We all like what we like. But if Jessie continues to define herself as ânot a math person,â then she never will be. If Jessie doesnât change the story sheâs been telling herself, sheâll never change her perspective, school experience or learning habits. Jessie might think âYeah, but I fail my math tests, so thatâs evidence that Iâm bad at math.â To that I would respond, âNo â thatâs evidence that your story is that youâre bad at math.â
If you want to change your habits, you have to change your story. That means that if you want to improve your English grade, even though you consider yourself a bad reader, then find a way to become a better reader. Question your story! (Oh hey, here’s how to become a better reader.)
If you want to manage your time better but youâve always told yourself that youâre a procrastinator, then learn some time management strategies. Question your story!
If you want to improve your grades but youâve always told yourself that youâll always just be a âCâ student, then dig deeper and figure out why youâre stuck at average. Question your story!
Habits neither create nor eliminate themselves. Â If your school habits need an overhaul, then write a new story for yourself. Youâre the protagonist. You control the plot line. And you can write whatever ending you want.